Why hire a wedding planner?

Planning a wedding is a HUGE undertaking. It requires countless hours of research, emails and meetings plus a good amount of money! A planner looks out for your needs and is constantly making sure that everyone is where they should be and things are running according to schedule. Here are 6 reasons you should hire a wedding planner, if you want to read the full post please click on the link at the bottom of the this post since I paraphrased it. Very well written by Nicole of Green Ribbon Party Planning Co 

Alexis Sweet Photography

1.) You want your family and friends to enjoy the day with you

Often your friends and family will volunteer to help you with the planning process and with the day of duties. However when their excitement wears off, sometimes they are nowhere to be found. Even if they are very well-meaning, they often don’t have the experience to know what they are looking at when reviewing contracts and they don’t have vendor relationships. A planner gets paid to make sure your day is perfect and handle any hiccups so you can remain happy and stress-free. 

2.) Venue site managers work for the site and not for you

Some couples think they don’t need a planner because the venue has a site manager. That could not be farther from the truth. The site manager is employed by the venue and that is their main priority. They do not know all of the details of your design and often don’t even stay for the whole night. They tend to stay through the ceremony and then leave the banquet captain in charge. You need someone who is acting on your behalf, grabbing your gifts, making decisions for you and coordinating your vendors so you don't have to. 

3.) You care about your budget no matter what it is

No matter if you have a modest budget or an unlimited one, a planner will help you find vendors, within that budget, who can best suit your vision. 

4.) You have a design vision or you don’t

Whether you know exactly what you want or you have no idea, a planner can help you either bring your dream to life or cull all of your ideas into one singular design theme. In the age of pinterest and countless wedding blogs, brides can often be overwhelmed by all of the choices before them. Sometimes there is almost too much to look at and decisive brides suddenly can't make a decision. A planner can act as a reassuring voice, validating decisions and suggesting new ideas. 

  

5.) You need a mediator

Sometimes, families don’t all see eye-to-eye on what should happen on the wedding day. There are lots of opinions, especially where money and tradition are involved. It is good to have someone who can provide an expert opinion on wedding-related issues and serve as a neutral third party. 

6.) You would like a happy and stress-free wedding day

Things go wrong on wedding days, people get lost or show up late, things don’t get set-up where they are supposed to, food service can be slow and with no one to regulate these mistakes and stay on top of things, you might have an unhappy experience. Many times a couple will never even know anything was amiss on their day and that’s because a planner has solved the problem before anyone even realized something had gone wrong. 

Read the full post please click here: http://www.ohlovelyday.com/2012/10/planning-tips-6-reasons-why-you-need-a-wedding-planner.html

Taken Photography

The two photos I chose were both from weddings that were examples of #6 Things go wrong on wedding days and without a wedding planner to help, brides may loose their minds. Granted it's stressful and something will happen on your wedding day, so having family, friends, and your wedding planner to help deal with whatever goes wrong is so worth it! You just have to allow everyone to help you make your day as happy as can be, remember why you're marrying this wonderful man and don't sweat the small stuff...... let the wedding planner sweat, and boy oh boy, I'm always a sweaty mess and emotionally exhausted after weddings, but its soooooo worth it -- Layla

Different Types of Wedding Photographers

This is a great break down on the types of photographers! This helps educate you as to what you may be looking for, how much you want to spend, what caliber of a photographer you want, and how much experience the photographer has. Pricing SHOULD correlate to the amount of experience they have, the amount of time they put into your photos, their photography education, and talent the photographer has.  

source: Wedding High

How to pick the perfect vendors

I had to share this great resource for those getting married on how to pick the perfect vendors! "Finding the right vendor(s) for your wedding day is like dating" says Katie.You need to click over to www.lovebirdproductions.com to read the full post!!!

Tips/ideas for finding that right vendor:

1. Research them

2. Be excited to work with them and the vendors should be excited too

3. Creativity

4. Be comfortable

Me pinning on the bouttonierre which is one of my many tasks as a wedding planner - not from Lovebird Production's blog post, but thought it was fitting ;)

Rachel Browne Photography

A Practical Wedding

A Practical Wedding - by Meg Keene
Buy the book here

Meg's goal for this wonderful book is for you to have more realistic knowledge of what goes into planning a wedding from start to finish and everything in between. I highly recommend you buy this book BEFORE you start wedding planning and maybe even before you get engaged if you think you're going to get married. I'm highlighting a lot, but there is still much much more great information for you to read in her book. My comments are in italics.

Towanna & James

The Six Stages of Wedding Planning 
(read in full in the book)
1. Euphoria - Yippie!!
2. Discovery - Pretttty!
3. Panic - How the hell?
4. Outrage and Depression - "What the EFF!?"
5. Rebellion - EFF it!
6. Zen - It is what it is!

In the beginning......... 
The bridal bouquet tradition emerged around the turn of the 20th century, before that women held prayer books or a handkerchief. White wedding dresses became popular in the early mid 20th century thanks to a serious marketing effort. In 1950s it became popular to have the catered wedding reception. The Unity candle was invented in the 1970s as part of a soap opera script.

Learn to say yes to what makes you happy, and a kind but firm NO to things that are wrong for you.

Learning to stand up to people graciously. When people push you around, inform them of what you're doing and why. Your wedding is YOUR business. 
. 
Questions to ask before you get married.... Faith, Money, Goals, Family, Location, Sex, Responsibilities, Fighting, Skeletons in the closet, End of life care. She has a huge list of very important things to discuss with your partner at some point during your relationship. You DON'T have to sit down and answer all these at once, but should make it a point to talk about them. I also did a post on another book "Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married" by Gary Chapman read here

Ruth & I on their wedding day

You Need Help!
You need someone to pat you on your back for 20min. while you cry and then take you out to lunch and make you laugh.

Some people love to organize things. Find your friend, (i.e. this had been me) who is super organized and secretly loves running things and delegate to her/him, make her/him your "stage manager". 

Or hire a wedding planner!!!! 

Guest List - Make a list of everyone and start the ones who you both love and who must be there, then work backwards till you have a number. The trick is to figure out how many people you want around you on your wedding day, and then figure out how many you can afford.

You can send save-the-dates up to a year in advance, or you can skip them altogether and just call people. 

Dealing with children and plus one - The people invited are the people who's names are written on the envelope. So if you're not inviting children, you don't put the children's name on the envelope. Or don't write "and family". If you are not inviting plus ones, the same rules apply. Unfortunately you still will probably have to follow up with them and firmly but politely say "While we're delighted that you'd like to bring your child/boyfriend/girlfriend, I'm afraid we can only accommodate you at our wedding."

Talking about the price of the wedding - 
Make sure that before you get into the money discussion you let everyone know money does not buy influence and that everyone is in this project together! Also make sure your parents or whom ever offers to pay can actually afford to give you what they plan to contribute!

Talking with the parents, "We think the price of our wedding could be between $10K - $25K, depending on the location and the total guest count. Let's talk about what your preferences are, and then you can think about how much and if you'd like to contribute financially."

The even split - Bride's parents 25%, Groom's parents 25%, Bride 25% and Groom 25%
Based on interest split - It may be that there is a certain part of the wedding that is more sentimental or means more to your parents and they can pay for that part, like food or the dress.
According to ability - give according to what they've got, if your husband's parents are well off and your parents are struggling, $5K may be as meaningful as $50K. Make sure to keep each person's contribution private. All you have to say is "so and so gave a meaningful amount" that's all anyone needs to know.
Paying on your own - the advantage to paying for a wedding on your own is clear since you get to outvote pushy family members. But there is a catch: your family might not be helping you pay, but they may really want to be involved in your wedding.

Photography - Here's a little secret: a good photographer can make any wedding look amazing. A bad photographer can make the world's most expensive wedding look like a hot mess. If you want to remember your wedding day and have beautifully crafted images then choose your photographer carefully. 

Traci Arney Photography

To DIY or Not to DIY - That is the question
DIYing a million projects for your wedding can be a huge pain in the ass and a demanding addition to an already stressful event. DIYing elements of your wedding can be also rewarding, if undertaken in moderation.

DIY doesn't always save money if you are spending tons of money on supplies and flounder around messing it all up. 

The minute DIYing is making you insane, put down what you're working on and step back and take a break, reevaluate, hand it off to someone else, or just forget about it!

Some DIY projects say that they are made by hand, but really you need a team of professionals to make that "simple" project. 

It's really important to understand that crafts made by amateurs may look like that, amateurs!

Meg likes the term DIT - Do It Together, rather then DIY - Do It Yourself. 

Be honest with yourself. Not all families are the type that rally together to throw a wedding by hand, and it's not always worth forcing the issue. There are times when you have to own up to the fact that your family is not crafty or just does not want to do hard work to make your wedding happen. Allow your loved ones to show their support in ways that make sense to them. DIY won't save the world, and it won't save your wedding. So focus on saving your sanity instead! 

Words of Wisdom
Stop trying to force your wedding into the box of How Everyone Else Does It, and just let it be what it is.

Make sure the "but we deserve it" line of thinking isn't sneaking into big-ticket items and making you go way OVER BUDGET.

If you can't afford something, you find a way around, or you do without.

It's better to do a few things well than to do a lot of things poorly!

Wedding planning can cause a lot more family stress than we imagine. 

The truth is, for most of us, families are loving, messy, complicated creatures. For many families, wedding planning looks nothing like it does in movies. It involves a lot hugs and smiles, but also a fair number of arguments and tears. This is normal!

Planning a wedding can be difficult especially if you tend to be a perfectionist who has extreme tendencies toward anxiety and hates nothing more to being wrong. 

Remember each choice your make gets you a step closer to getting married.

In the end, your wedding is not just one day, it's the accumulation of all the moments that went into creating it. Enjoy the time you spend making your wedding happen with people you love. It will be sweaty, tiring, and little bit stressful, but magical.

Hopefully, you've picked a good partner to marry, and the rest of your choices will become just details.

Don't be afraid to fight and cry, and don't be afraid to say NO when you really need to. Think of it as practice for the rest of your lives together when dealing with family members on both sides.

Planning your wedding with your partner is great since you'll need these skills later in life for doing things like caring for a sick parent, having kids, renovating a house, or moving across the country.

Sometimes the idea of marriage gets lost under the modern idea that when you already live together, not much is going to change after getting married. Sometimes it's a panic that pulls us back to reality: getting married is a HUGE commitment, and not one to be taken lightly.

Though it seems terrifying and expensive to call off a wedding, it is infinitely worse to call off a marriage! The people who loved you before you were a bride-to-be will still love you once you call off your wedding. 

Getting married does NOT equal happiness.

Wedding Realization - Marriage isn't for forever, it is for today. Look around at your life and your relationship and figure out how it is doing NOW. If it's good, it's good. If it's not, take actions to fix it. But there is nothing that can be done about 30 years from now, other than to take care of each other in this moment.

Stay grounded, and focus on why you love your partner enough to make this huge commitment.

Weddings are about hope.

On days it seems to hard to go on, too hard to pick out flowers, remember the why of weddings.

Weddings allow us to celebrate who we love with the people we love.

The hardest part of wedding planning is often the conflict btwn what we hoped would be, and what is.

The ceremony is the core, don't overlook it and it's importance.

You should feel different walking down the aisle than you felt walking up.

There is a whole wedding marketing machine set up to sell you the "perfect" wedding, but the reality is, things are going to go wrong on your wedding day. That's fine. It's the imperfections that make the day yours. Perfect weddings don't exist!

It's really, really hard to ruin a wedding. Little things may go wrong, but you can choose to not let it matter. Although BIG things could go wrong. The key is rolling with what happens, letting go, and appreciate the reality of the moment, and have a back up rain plan!

If you're marrying a partner who makes you deeply happy, the wedding just becomes the party to kick off the rest of your life.

Also remember that the wedding day isn't the all important be all - your marriage is.

The wedding marks the beginning of married life; it is the announcement of the start of something great.

Your wedding is a major life event.

Remember what your wedding is: a celebration!

When marriage goes right, it allows us to be stronger people together than we would be apart. 

Now What!?
You've spent a lot of time planning this wedding and gone thru and emotional roller coaster of highs and lows, at some point you're going to crash. The wedding is over; your life has changed; you are coming back to reality. Some crying is normal. You may wonder, now what? Or you may feel like you have postwedding freedom and glad your wedding is over. Make sure to take some time off together and think about what just happened. Savor being a brand new family.

My Engagement Weekend 2009 

Amelia Island, FL
Love you Christopher ~ Layla

Cake Traditions

Traditional Wedding History Facts: Cutting the cake is symbolic of the first joint task you do as husband and wife. Tradition says the husband is supposed to feed the wife first. Just in case you wanted to know why this tradition is so important. Here are a few pictures of some of my favorite client's cutting their cakes plus my crazy messiest cake face smash that my husband and I did above. So will you be polite and feed each other neatly or will you be messy????

To read more about grooms cakes and the traditions behind them click here

{Bright Idea Thursday} Something Blue

Something old, something new

Something borrowed, something blue 

And a silver sixpence in her shoe.

This bride sewed her wedding date into the hem of her dress with blue thread (the perfect something blue!)

{source}
Where did this saying come from? 
A sixpence is a coin that was minted in Britain from 1551 to 1967. It was made of silver and worth six pennies. So this wedding tradition is definitely English, and many sources say that it began in the Victorian era. Each item in this poem represents a good-luck token for the bride. If she carries all of them on her wedding day, her marriage will be happy. "Something old" symbolizes continuity with the bride's family and the past. "Something new" means optimism and hope for the bride's new life ahead. "Something borrowed" is usually an item from a happily married friend or family member, whose good fortune in marriage is supposed to carry over to the new bride. The borrowed item also reminds the bride that she can depend on her friends and family. As for the colorful item, blue has been connected to weddings for centuries. In ancient Rome, brides wore blue to symbolize love, modesty, and fidelity. Christianity has long dressed the Virgin Mary in blue, so purity was associated with the color. Before the late 19th century, blue was a popular color for wedding gowns, as evidenced in proverbs like, "Marry in blue, lover be true." And finally, a silver sixpence in the bride's shoe represents wealth and financial security. It may date back to a Scottish custom of a groom putting a silver coin under his foot for good luck. For optimum fortune, the sixpence should be in the left shoe. These days, a dime or a copper penny is sometimes substituted, and many companies sell keepsake sixpences for weddings.{source} 

{Pin it Friday} Post-it Note Seating Chart

Source: somethingturquoise.com via Layla on Pinterest

Oh the dreaded seating charts! I love post-it notes and this great example I found online. Post-it notes come in very handy for this task! Use a bowl to trace round tables, but you might have rectangle tables… in that case use the bottom of a cereal box. Number the tables or label them with your theme names. The different Post-It colors to help categorize our guests by: my family, his family, our friends and work people. * If you plan to have a plated meal you will need to put choices on your RSVP cards for everyone to choose a meal that you two decide on after looking at menu choices. If everyone chooses their own meal that means you will have to have assigned seats and a pretty seating chart for guest to know which table they are at and ALSO let the caterer have your assigned seat map usually 2 weeks before the event, plus notify of any changes on the day of the wedding. PLEASE always give a copy of the master seating chart to your planner and also notify of any changes!!!

{Bright Idea Thursday} Ceremony Programs

Remember our boho beach shoot with Makebelieven? Well I just read a great blog post about her that you can read here. Krissy of Makebelieven is the etsy who made the headband that Nicole wore. One question and answer that I really enjoyed from the interview was: 

What would you like to see at more weddings?

Krissy: "I would love to see more programs that give additional background on the couple…how they met, favorite foods/songs, etc". 

Such a great suggestion - I love that idea!! Here are some more wedding ceremony program ideas for you plus Eco-friendly wedding advice too.

Humorous ceremony program handmade by the bride and MOB

Tiered ceremony programs handmade by the bride and family friend

Programs that are fans! created by 1420 DeZigns

Make sure the programs are secured really well on the fan! These are great because they are also functional!

fan programs

Bridal Party Programs

HOW CAN I MAKE MY CEREMONY MORE ECO-FRIENDLY?

THE FLOWERS

If you use the flowers that decorate your wedding ceremony space as your centerpieces at the reception, you’re getting more use out of the blooms and won’t be throwing them away right after “I do.” It’s also more eco-friendly to choose flowers that are in season, and even better if they’re locally grown. That way less fuel is used to ship them to you. 

THE PAPER

Print your ceremony programs on recycled paper, or make them as short as possible. If you’re having them professionally printed, ask about soy-based inks, which are less harmful to the environment. If you had planned on getting fans for your guests, save paper and make programs that double as fans instead.

THE LOCATION

If you have your wedding ceremony and reception in the same place, no one has to drive from one place to the other, which saves gas. You can also try to have the ceremony and reception within walking distance of each other.

THE FAVORS

Most places do not let you use rice since it's not good for the birdies, but bird seed is a great alternative. Also consider biodegradable paper confetti or bubbles or ribbon wands!

Eco-chic Weddings

In case, you missed this before, I'm sharing it again because there are so many great ideas, I don't want it to get lost in the shuffle of my blog! I recently finished reading "Eco-chic Weddings" by Emily Elizabeth Anderson and have LOTS of great information to tell you about. As you know my passion is sharing eco-friendly ideas that you can consider for your wedding, it doesn't have to be everything, even a few green efforts can make a big difference. This will be a pretty lengthy post, so stick with me, have a cup of coffee, get a piece of paper to take notes, or get ready to click on links and bookmark them! Most of this information is directly from Emily's book and some I have added in.

Facts To Think About:

• According to Conde Nast Bridal Group- American Wedding Study 2006 the average American wedding is now $27,825 in 1990 it was $15,208
• Prioritize!! What is the most important part of your wedding that you are willing to spend money on and what could be edited out?
• Borrow -  Emily wrote in her book that she borrowed her friends pearl bracelet which was special since her friend couldn't be at the wedding. Maybe borrow someone’s veil too.
• Think about one-time-use items like your wedding shoes that you will only wear once, do you really want to spend that much on them?
• According to the Bridal Consultants of America, October is now the most popular month of the year to get married.
• Ask and find out if your venue/caterer compost leftover food? Could they donate to a compost community garden?
• Reduce: Send your wedding invitations earlier than planned so that you don’t have to send out save-the-dates, or it’s too late to send out save-the-dates so you just send invites
• Self-adhesive stamps come with non-recyclable plastic sheet backing so if possible get the moisten and stick stamps
• Recycle your ink cartridges, more than 300 million ink cartridges end up in landfills every year. You can take them to Staples and get a discount!
• Average money spent on honeymoon is $3.700
• This is a BIG FACT I DID NOT KNOW!! 10% of honeymooners go on a cruise, but did you know that one of the largest waterway polluters is the cruise ship industry! Discharge into the ocean by cruise ships is not covered under the Clean Water Act. I have actually never been on a cruise but it's such a huge industry for tourism.
• Consider going to a “green” location and doing “green” activities and rent from Enterprise Rent-A-Car since they have the Toyota Prius

(Bright Idea Thursday} Monograms

So you're engaged now and considering changing your name once you're married, isn't it exciting to practice writing your new name plus buying fun new monogrammed items! Monograms have been around for ever and they vary from ornate traditional script to modern bold sanserif fonts. Let's refer to 2 resources to find out more about the etiquette behind monogramming.

A traditional 3-letter monogram has the initial of the individual's last name (surname) set larger, or with some special treatment in the center, while the first name initial appears to the left of it and the middle name initial appears to the right of it. For example, if the individual's name is Mary Ann Jones, and Jones is the surname, then the arrangement of letters would be thus: MJA, with the surname initial set larger in the center, the M for Mary to the left and the A for Ann to the right.^[5] 

Married or engaged couples may use two-letter monograms of their entwined initials, for example on wedding invitations. Married couples may also create three-letter monograms incorporating the initial of their shared surname. For example, the monogram MJA might be used for Michael and Alice Jones.^[5] However, monogramming etiquette for the married couple varies according to the item being monogrammed. Linens, for example, typically list the woman's given initial first, followed by the couple's shared surname initial and then the man's given initial (AJM).  - Wikipedia

"Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married"

Marriage or any relationship takes effort, kindness, forgiveness, understanding, patience, and so much more. I am not an expert, but I do have a minor in Psychology, plus my husband and I are almost at our 3 year anniversary come July, so we are doing something right. I've also kept my friendships between many of my childhood friends, as well as, new friends. I love being able to share our life challenges, struggles, marriage, divorce, birth, and loss. Yah, I know I'm getting TOO deep here, but I wanted to introduce this post well. I recently finished reading, "Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married" by Gary Chapman and here are some key points from this book. I recommend anyone who is single, dating, engaged, or married read this book. He brings up many great points, some are religious so I don't want you to think I'm pushing any sort of personal religious beliefs, since I myself am not very religious but do have faith and I am spiritual. This book isn't that long, but has very well worth while points.....

"We will have conflicts. Conflicts are not a sign that you have married the wrong person. They simply affirm that you are human. What we fail to recognize is that our spouse has the same opinion of their ideas. Their logic will not agree with your logic, and their emotions will not mirror your own".

"Talking without listening leads to arguments".

{Bright Idea Thursday} Groom's Cake

Where do you have the grooms cake? What's the history of the grooms cake?

GOOD QUESTIONS! Here are some resources for you to read and help make your decision. My husband and I had such a small wedding we did not even have a rehearsal dinner and decided to just have 1 small cake that we each got to choose the flavors for "our" layer, but since I love chocolate we actually went with a little non-traditional look and had chocolate frosting. We also probably won the messiest cake cutting award!

Photos by Nicki Bursae Photography

Traditionally, groom's cakes were served at the wedding. Years ago, you could only get a wedding cake in one flavor. To give guests options, brides (initially in the US South) introduced a second cake. The bride choose the wedding cake flavor, and the groom chose a different flavor for the second cake (hence "groom's cake"). Now, in most wedding cakes you can get each layer as a separate flavor, basically making the grooms cake more of a tradition than a functional component of a wedding. Here in the south, most people have the grooms cake at the reception, not the rehearsal dinner. http://answers.yahoo.com

A long-standing tradition in the southern United States, a groom's cake is a gift from the bride to the groom. Think back to a scene in "Steel Magnolias" where all the women are having a discussion about a red and gray cake in the shape of an armadillo. That armadillo was the groom's cake Shelby was planning to give her husband-to-be. (Probably one of my favorite movies, and I STILL cry at the end!) A groom's cake is typically smaller than the couple's wedding cake, one layer only, and is decorated to reflect a particular hobby or interest of the groom. or example, a hockey fan's groom's cake may be made in the shape and color of a hockey puck. The groom who enjoys shooting hoops could have a groom's cake resembling a basketball. If the groom likes to strum a few tunes from time to time, then a guitar groom's cake is perfect. 

{Bright Idea Thursday} Place Settings

One of my favorite parts of events is setting the table and making it look pretty!! There are a plethora of options out there and thanks to pinterest and blogs you can find amazing ideas. Let me help you decide on your wedding’s style plus give you some wicked awesome setting layouts (yep, I sneaked in some Boston slang). Are you more of a bright color, rustic, luxurious, modern, earthy, country, or Victorian style person? Are you going to have red or white wine glasses? Do you want the wine glasses right side up or upside down? Is it buffet style, so no plates at the tables? Would you like the napkins set on top of the plates or next to the plates? Maybe have the napkins folded in an interesting way - learn how to fold napkins here: http://www.napkinfoldingguide.com/ or http://www.delish.com/recipes/napkin-folding/ Make sure you ask the venue, cateror, or linen rental companies if they will fold the napkins for you, otherwise, your wedding planner (me) will be doing it for you! 

Classically, the groom sits to the bride's right and the best man sits to her left. The maid of honor sits to the groom's right. Depending on how large the table is, the other attendants can also be seated near the bride and groom.

(So that when you are looking at their faces it will be Mr & Mrs)

If you are at the table looking at the back of their chairs this could be the order:

Bride’s Mom, Bride’s Dad, Bride, Groom, Groom’s Mom, Groom’s Dad

Family Tables: Often, the parents of the bride and groom sit opposite each other at a large family table, with grandparents, the officiant (only if they are friends with them), and other close friends. An alternative is to have the bride and groom's parents "host" their own tables, consisting of their family members and close friends. In the case of divorced parents, each parent may also host his or her own table, smoothly diffusing any awkwardness or discomfort.

You're Engaged Now WHAT!?

Welcome to 2012!! So many people got engaged over the holidays including one of my best friends! He proposed to her on top of the Empire State Building in NYC - how romantic!! Congratulations on your engagement, take a moment and enjoy it, then get ready and prepare yourself for sooooo many questions and things to figure out!

You're Engaged Now WHAT!? I've been compiling a lot of resources on my blog since it saves on me printing it out or emailing it or for you to buy books, etc. If you go to the tag cloud on the right hand side of this blog and click on "etiquette" or just click on this link you'll be brought to ALL my posts about wedding planning and TONS AND TONS of information. 

This post is about the FIRST STEPS on what you need to do asap! I've borrowed some great resources from a few fabulous blogs to help you get started. 

THE QUESTIONS:

What kind of wedding do you want?

Church Ceremony or Civil Ceremony?

Small and Intimate Party or Bigger is Better Reception?

What is your budget for the wedding?

Who do you want to invite?

What’s your ideal venue?

When would you like to get married?

Is there a key theme, colour or inspiration in your head?

read more...http://onefabday.com

TOP 5 THINGS TO DO FIRST:
1. Set a budget

2. Choose 2-3 possible dates

3. Start your guest list

4. Decide on your wedding’s style

5. Decide on your venue

read more...http://everylastdetailblog.com

Wedding Roles and Resposibilty

Bride And Groom

The bride and groom's big responsibility is to get married, of course, but here are myriad planning decisions to make first. Ideally the bride and groom work together on these decisions, to share the workload and to make sure both are happy with the plans. A small list of basics:

o  Set budget

o  Choose date, style and site for wedding

o  Meet with ceremony officiant to discuss details

o  Coordinate invites, flowers, photographer, etc.

o  Shop for wedding bands (each pays for the other's)

o  Write wedding vows if they choose

o  Send thank-you notes for all gifts.

In addition to their joint responsibilities, the bride and groom each traditionally handle certain details on their own, including each making sure his or her family compiles a guest list.

The bride chooses her bridesmaids and honor attendant. She plans and hosts the bridesmaids' luncheon and gives her attendants thank-you gifts, and buys a gift for groom.

The groom chooses his groomsmen and best man and picks their attire. He buys thank-you gifts for his attendants and for the bride. He arranges and pays for the marriage license and the officiant's fee, and he reserves a block of hotel rooms for out-of-town guests.

Bride's Parents

In the past, the bride's parents usually had the dubious privilege of footing the bill for the majority of wedding expenses. Today costs are likely to be distributed among the bride's parents, groom"s parents and the couple themselves, but there are still certain responsibilities the bride's parents hold.

Traditionally they host the first engagement party. They help the bride with the guest list; and offer assistance (and moral support!) with wedding details. The bride's mother chooses her attire, then informs groom's mother of her choice so they can complement each other.

The bride's father gets fitted for formalwear. On the day of the wedding, then he escorts her to the ceremony site and may walk her down the aisle (perhaps with her mother on the bride's other arm). He is the last to leave the reception, after saying goodnight to guests and settling outstanding bills with the caterer, bandleader and coat-check, restroom and parking attendants.

Groom's Parents

Customarily, the groom's parents contact the bride's parents after the engagement. They may host an engagement party (after the bride's parents do). They provide a list of guests to the couple - hopefully sticking to an agreed-upon number. They consult with the bride's parents on attire. They host the rehearsal dinner on the evening before the wedding, and they may contribute to some wedding expenses.

Maid Of Honor

Out of all her attendants, the bride relies most heavily on her maid of honor. Traditionally, the maid of honor is the bride's sister or closest friend. FYI, a married honor attendant is technically referred to as a matron of honor, but that has taken a back seat in recent popular vernacular. In cases where a bride chooses to have both a maid and a matron of honor, the maid of honor's role takes precedence during the ceremony.

Before the wedding, the maid of honor's duties include coordinating the bridesmaids' activities, such as meeting for a dress fitting and organizing the bridal shower and bachelorette party. She also helps the bride and groom with any preparatory errands or tasks, like addressing the invitations and keeping records of gifts.

On the wedding day, the maid of honor helps the bride dress and accompanies her to the ceremony. She signs the marriage license as the bride's witness, arranges her veil and train during the processional and recessional, and holds her bouquet at the altar. At the reception, she dances with the best man and organizes the bridesmaids for formal pictures. Before the couple leaves for their honeymoon, she helps the bride change, and makes certain her dress and bouquet are kept safe until she returns.

Bridesmaids

You may choose as few or as many bridesmaids as you wish to be in your wedding (although generally 12 is the limit). Bridesmaids can be single or married and of any age, although girls between the ages of eight and 16 become junior bridesmaids and take on abridged responsibilities. The main role of a bridesmaid is to assist the maid of honor with her wedding-planning duties—especially the bridal shower—and help the bride as needed. Of course, bridesmaids walk in the processional and recessional. During the reception, they mostly mingle and dance with the groomsmen and other important guests.

Best Man

Like the maid of honor to the bride, the best man is the groom's biggest source of support. Generally, he is the groom's brother or best friend, and he can be married or single.

The best man's main role before the wedding is to organize the bachelor party. He helps coordinate the groomsmen's formalwear fitting, picks up the groom's attire before the wedding, orchestrates the toasts at the rehearsal party, and confirms the honeymoon travel reservations the day before.

On the day of the wedding, the best man makes sure the groom gets to the ceremony site on time. He brings the bride's ring, holds the officiant's fee until after the ceremony, and signs the marriage license as the groom's witness. Afterward, he organizes the groomsmen for formal pictures, dances with the maid of honor, and orchestrates the toasts during the reception. Finally, he makes sure the getaway car is ready, with the couple's luggage inside. After the celebration, he sees that all rented formalwear is returned.

Groomsmen

The groomsmen (sometimes referred to as ushers) have very few responsibilities before the wedding. Mainly, they help the best man plan and host the bachelor party (oh, and get fitted for a fabulous tuxedo). Of course, they should periodically check with the groom and best man to see if they can handle any other tasks.

On the wedding day, the groomsmen should arrive early at the ceremony site, ready to greet (and perhaps seat) guests. They'll be involved in the wedding, and are expected to remain at the reception for its entire duration.

Flower Girl

The flower girl is usually between the ages of four and eight, depending on her level of maturity. During the processional, she walks ahead of the bride, scattering flower petals in her path or simply carrying a pretty bouquet or basket. She should also be included in the wedding rehearsal so that she is comfortable with her role. Her parents are expected to pay for her attire and arrange for her transportation.

Ring Bearer

The ring bearer is traditionally a boy who carries the wedding rings on a satin pillow (or symbolic rings, with the real rings being held by the honor attendants) down the aisle. The maid of honor and best man take the appropriate rings off the pillow (you may want to tie them on with an attached ribbon for safekeeping) and give them to the bride and groom. Like the flower girl, the ring bearer"s parents pay for his attire and arrange for his transportation.

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